Are Indians Rude?

Are Indians in United States of America Rude?

I was informed on a few occasions that most Indians in the US are rude and lack western sophistication. They cut lines, do not say thank you every time they receive something, argue a bit on small matters, and hesitate giving lavish tips. Though I have understood the informers' western point of view yet I have found it hard to agree with the charges.

I was also told on many occasions that Westerners in India walk like a cow, say thank you too much, cannot argue to an extent without taking things personally, and spend extravagantly and therefore spoil people's behavior. Again, though I have understood the informers' Indian point of view yet I have found it hard to agree with the accusations.

Both sides judge the other from their own standards without complete understanding of the other's cultural upbringing. They are kind of missionaries thinking the other uncivilized. Viewing of the one as exotic by the other is even worse. 

I'm going to address the first situation here, and will talk about the second another time.

Indians cut lines: Indians at their first arrival in the US  may not stand in lines. However, this is rarely true with the ones who have lived for a while. Newly arrived at times cut lines for several possible reasons: Cutting lines was acceptable socially, though not morally, in India, and it was a sign of power for some. Others may have been victim of lazy and corrupt bureaucracy where some officials come to office late, have extended lunch hours and leave office early. In population of millions, cutting lines was the only way to get the work done on time, and some may simply lack patience! If you are someone who faces one in this situation, confronting may not be a good idea: gently asking may do. This changes with time.

Aren't these mallards in line?

Indians do not say thank you every time: Indians, whether newly arrived or living for a while, may not say thank you when you expect one. However, this does not mean that they are not thankful of your help. This happens because their mind draws distinction between duty and help: if you do something out of your duty, thanking may not be necessary in India. And Indians only want to say thank you when they really mean and feel. I have made some of my Indian friends uncomfortable at several occasions by saying thank you: helping a friend is another friend's duty. This may not change ever.

Indians argue over small matters: Indians like to debate and do not like to accept defeat until logic convinces them, and, therefore, it is okay for them to argue even on small matters. What may appear argument for you from the US is usually a healthy discussion for the Indian. Indians are Socrates! Truth must be found, and truth is found by questioning. This may not change, but most Indians will compromise eventually: Logic that they should not debate in the US over small matters convinces them. 

Indians do not give lavish tips: Giving tips does not often make sense to newly arrived Indians, or any one from the East: why they have to pay more than the cost and tax-business includes profit in the bill anyway? There is no concept of tip in traditional (not metropolitan) India: some restaurants and people still see it as alms and as a way of spoiling their employees. You may even see a notice: we do not accept tips. Also, a dollar for a business in the US is approximately 60 rupees in India. I can still guiltily remember my first tip: approximately 25 cent tip to a taxi driver after he dropped me to airport one early morning from a four/five star hotel. One of my friend from another country often avoided eating out due to high charges. Though all understand the concept after a while, some may never agree with it. This definitely changes with time.

We need to note that behaviors and social skills are learned and are not instinctual. Humans, as babies, learn a particular way of behaving, and keep on adding others, say, how to behave in a college classroom.

Are Indians in general or in United States of America Rude? No.

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